Peace.
It does not mean to be in a place where this is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. Roughly six months into my first year in Rwanda, I received a package from a close friend. Opening that package on the concrete floor of my room in dusty, rural Nyamata felt like winning the lottery. I delighted in the tin of hot cocoa, boxes of mac and cheese, Twix bars, Cosmopolitan magazine, Swedish fish, mashed potatoes au gratin mix, brightly colored stickers, notepads and other goodies that I knew would last me the rest of my first year. Nestled amongst these goods were three sealed, numbered envelopes containing cards written by my friend. Her instructions were deliberate: I was to open the cards in order, at three times over the course of the next several months when I needed a boost. Having those cards stored away in my closet (along with the remaining spoils of the package) reminded me that no matter how difficult things got – no matter how much judgment I faced from Maranyundo’s nuns, no matter how many people viewed me as a walking dollar sign, no matter how many protruding bellies I passed on my way to the district office, no matter how bitterly cold it got at the top of Kilimanjaro – I was not alone.
One of the cards included this message about peace. I find that it appropriately describes much of what I learned in Rwanda, through getting to know those who have had to find peace in the most un-peaceful circumstances. In hard times, I think about these strong, resilient people, most of whom will never have access to the resources or opportunities that we as Americans often take for granted. In the hardest of times, I try to emulate their character, and I remember to count my blessings.
Lessons Learned1. How to COMMUNICATE without words
2. How to pay close attention to my surroundings and become increasingly self-aware
3. How to have FAITH in God...and in the moto driver
4. How to APPRECIATE the many things I have as an effect of where I was born, and how to live without many of those things
5. How to WAIT –
for a bus to start moving, to earn the trust of school administrators, in line for peanut butter, for a student to respond to a question in English, for running water, electricity, world news, refrigeration, and the arrival of a friend
- for a seemingly endless period of time, without understanding why, and with no guaranteed resolution
6. How to LISTEN
and, when the timing is right, how to share advice
7. How to live as a minority in a rural village
8. How to be RESOURCEFUL in a range of situations –
open a can of tuna with a kitchen knife...launder clothes in a hotel bathtub...turn bug spray into WD-40...sub bobby-pins for paperclips...insert a European plug into a British outlet, sans adaptor...create an Irish flag using patterned fabrics from the market...force the unharmed exodus of a bird, monkey, chameleon or mouse from one’s sleeping quarters...turn a bed sheet into a movie screen, a ripped pair of pants into a headband, or red Gatorade powder into “cherry” cake frosting
9. How to GIVE fully and without reservation for just matters, however unpleasant the journey may be
10. How to LOVE those who may have nothing in common with oneself
11. How to spend the greater part of a day without eating, drinking or using the loo – and understand how many around me experience just that on a regular basis, without ever complaining
12. How to say NO...to racist policies and ignorant endorsement of such policies, to pretending that everything in Rwanda is perfect based on face value, to random requests for money, English lessons, my hand in marriage
13. How to earn the trust and respect of those who have experienced trauma, abuse, loss and betrayal by loved ones at various stages of their lives
14. How to LET GO – of past possessions, grievances and judgments
15. How to find beauty in a damaged people, a broken heart, a furry spider and a newborn’s cry
